


Crazy For You

by Basketballer3511



Series: Jim and Dwight One Shots [21]
Category: The Office (US)
Genre: "Pam's Replacement", Fluff, Getting Back Together, Jealousy, Light Angst, M/M, Post-Break Up, season 8 episode 7
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-20
Updated: 2020-05-20
Packaged: 2021-03-03 04:48:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,064
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24289171
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Basketballer3511/pseuds/Basketballer3511
Summary: How can Jim say Cathy is not objectively attractive? He's obviously lying and Dwight and Pam will find the truth.
Relationships: Jim Halpert/Dwight Schrute, Pam Beesly & Dwight Schrute
Series: Jim and Dwight One Shots [21]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1719877
Comments: 2
Kudos: 52





	Crazy For You

**Author's Note:**

> I'm going to say it. I don't hate Cathy, I actually liked her, just hated the fact she tried to get with Jim even though he was with Pam.  
> Some of this follows the episode, then it branches off, there's some plot twist, but everything works out in the end lol. Hope you guys enjoy this!

Dwight didn't really care for the useless conversations Pam and Jim would have as they worked, he preferred to tune them out, but he couldn't help but be curious as to what Jim's answer for whether he thought Cathy was objectively attractive.

Jim figured Pam would drop this topic of conversation, but he was so wrong. She kept making him look at Cathy and explain how he was crazy for thinking Cathy's not attractive. When Jim left and Dwight told her how Cathy was objectively perfect and that Jim had to be crazy, Pam felt validated. Dwight was being honest with her. Mean of course, by saying she's been declining in looks since 24, but still honest and that's what she needed right now.

Jim has the audacity to say no, what an idiot. Dwight noticed how Cathy was essentially perfect for carrying a baby how could Jim say that she wasn't attractive. "He's lying" Dwight told Pam. Pam was curious, she had to know why Jim was lying and who better to help her then Dwight.

They administered the match test with kelly, but Jim had caught on. "I'm his best friend I don't know why he won't just be honest w me Pam said." Dwight shook his head. Maybe Jim wasn't that big of an idiot if he caught on to their plans. 

"No, I'm not going to tell my 9 months pregnant best friend that I find her replacement objectively attractive. Just like I'm not going to tell my niece that violent video games are objectively more fun. It's true, but it doesn't help anything" Jim told the confessional. He knew Pam had been sensitive to everything lately and he didn't want to add to that so he fibbed a little to her. 

Dwight himself was just helping Pam because he always in any case wanted to know the truth, also to catch Jim lying would be the perfect part of his day, and okay fine maybe also help his friend Pam, and also maybe because he still loved Jim. Blah Blah Blah whatever. Not important. 

Dwight thought to himself. If the matchmaker test didn't work, then his plan would work. "He can't lie with his body" Dwight excitedly told Pam. "Increased blow flow to the crotch. I say we start there" Dwight told Pam and Kelly who was listening in. They looked hesitant, but Dwight knew what he was doing and he was going to prove Jim was lying no matter what it took.

"Is he puffing his chest?" Pam worriedly asked, as they fake shuffled papers at Creed's desk. "I can't tell. It's unnaturally sunken" Dwight told her. After years of observing the other man and being with him as well he always had been concerned and fascinated by that. Pam was worried about Jim making Cathy laugh, well he would figure out whether it was simply Jim mirroring or him making a joke. As if he ever could do that.

"Time for me to find out" Dwight said, making his way around the sales clump. He "accidentally" tripped over Andy's old desk and pretended to trip. "Oh, stumbling, I need something to grab on to!" Dwight loudly stated, reaching forward to place his hand on Jim's crotch. "Dwight!" Jim kept repeating, trying to get Dwight's hands off of his crotch in front of the whole office. Pam embarrassedly watched. Part of her wanted to help Jim, but the other part really needed to know Dwight's findings. "Aw cramp" Dwight said in a last ditch effort to see if any blood was in Jim's crotch.

Jim was obviously angry and confused. Dwight didn't care he had a mission to complete. He slowly backed away from Jim, still peering hoping to see if Jim's crotch was showing anything, but apparently not. "Leave" Jim scolded Dwight, shoving the paper away that Dwight was pretending to look at it to really look at Jim's crotch.

"Does your best friend have very soft erections?" Dwight asked Pam as he made his way back to Creed's desk. Pam hid her face in embarrassment. This could not have gone more wrong.

Pam wanted to believe her best friend. She did. But she couldn't shake off the feeling he was lying and she just wanted people to treat her like normal. So she made Dwight administer his homemade lie detecter test. It was wrong, she knew it, but it was what had to be done.

"Your best friend is a pathological liar" Dwight told Pam excitedly, but also worriedly as he looked at the test results. If he was lying now, could he have been lying when they were dating? "Jim, you have high blood pressure" Pam worriedly stated. Jim tried to deny it, but Pam persisted.

"Doesn't it worry you in the slightest that Jim is not his real name?" Dwight asked their retreating figures, but he had lost his partner in crime. Jim's lies had triumphed again.

"Hey, Cece's toothbrush" Dwight told them, "thank you" Jim called out, letting Pam guide them out of the drug store.

Dwight sighed, well today wasn't a great waste of time he guessed. He got to hang out with Pam, prove Jim wrong, even though no one cared, and he grabbed Jim's crotch so that was fun.

. . . . . . . . . . 

"Why did you care so much if I found Cathy objectively attractive?" Jim asked him the next day as Dwight made his coffee and Jim sipped his.

Dwight didn't respond, he stared intently at his coffee mug. "Dwight we broke up weeks ago. I have to move on eventually" Jim hopelessly said. Dwight clutched the counter, "does it have to be with her?" Dwight whispered, hating how small his voice. Jim looked at Dwight helplessly. " You broke up with me because I wasn't good enough, so yeah if I want to date her, I'll date her" Jim said, his voice raising at the end.

This was ridiculous. He tried to remain cordial with Dwight and pretend that a year of dating meant nothing when they broke up, but this was a joke. Dwight was behaving erratically and sure he might've been helping Pam, but there was no way he didn't also do it because he wanted to keep tabs on Jim.

"Why did you have to have Dwight help you?" Jim asked Pam, putting his head in his arms as he sat back in his desk. Pam looked worriedly at Jim, "I thought you guys were doing fine and he was being nice to me that day" Pam guilty told him. "We were, but I still love him and I'm trying to move on and then he goes and embarrasses me by grabbing my crotch a million times in front of Cathy!" Pam winced, that moment would forever haunt her. 

"I don't think Cathy's going to be weirded out by that. I mean she already knows how crazy Dwight is, she's not going to think you are" Pam hopefully told Jim. Her face suddenly brightened, "so this means you think she's objectively attractive!" Jim sighed and laughed, "it means there's a new person in the office and it means I can possibly move on from Dwight without having to go to a bar or get on a dating site" Jim told her with a grin. Pam let out a goodnatured sighed, "you'll admit it one day Halpert" she said with a smile. 

. . . . . . . . . 

"Dwight, I got your text where's the art supplies you found?" Pam asked as she entered the warehouse. "There are no art supplies Pam, I needed you to get down here" Dwight told her. "You could've just told me that" Pam said disappointed. Dwight looked around the warehouse to see if anyone was nearby, before crouching down to talk to Pam. 

"So you know how Jim and I broke up?" Dwight started to say. Pam sighed, "yes Dwight, I know" she said-- curious to see where Dwight was taking this or if he was just going to tell her information she already knew, after comforting Jim after the breakup. "Well I still love him and I only broke up with him because my family didn't like him" Dwight told her. "I need you to help me come up with a plan to win him back." Pam looked at Dwight and sighed, "you don't need a plan. Tell him the truth Dwight" Pam sincerely told him. "He likes things straightforward." 

Dwight sighed, he knew this, but he didn't want to embarrass himself. That was the only way to get Jim back though and Jim was more important then his pride. 

. . . . . . . . . 

"Hey Jim? I got you flowers to say sorry about embarrassing you and grabbing your crotch" Dwight said with a small smile as he held the flowers in his hand. Jim looked up surprised at Dwight. His heart gave a little squeeze. Dwight would always do things like this when they were dating he thought.

"Thanks Dwight" Jim said, slightly skeptically. "Um can we talk outside?" Dwight asked Jim, with a nervous look on his face. Jim agreed, following Dwight with a confused look on his face. "Jim, I'm really sorry" Dwight said as they stood facing each other outside of the entrance to the building. Jim nodded and put his hands in his pocket, "didn't Dwight already say that inside? 

"I let my family get in the way and they were wrong, I love you and I don't care if I lose the farm. I want to be with you forever and I know you want Cathy, so I get it if you don't still love me, but I wanted you to know" Dwight said softly, looking up at Jim. 

Jim was not expecting this, first an apology from Dwight and now Dwight saying he still loved him? "Dwight," Jim said, moving closer to Dwight and taking his hands in his his. "how could I not still love you?" Jim said with a heartbroken expression. Dwight looked up hopefully at Jim, "I don't want you to lose the farm, that's your life" Jim told him. Dwight shook his head, "it was, but Jim I love you so much and I don't care if I lose it" Dwight told him, hoping that Jim understood just how serious he was about having a relationship with Jim again. 

"Are you sure?" Jim asked, "I don't want you to resent me and I don't want to see you lose your farm and your family." "Jim, it's okay. I'll talk with them again" Dwight told Jim, hoping his face didn't convey how nervous he was to do that. Jim smiled at him and reached forward to wrap his arms around Dwight. "I love you" he whispered into the crook of Dwight's shoulder. "I love you too" Dwight replied, smiling as he shut his eyes and enjoyed the feeling of having Jim in his arms again. 

. . . . . . . . .

"Hey, how'd it go?" Jim asked, getting up quickly from the couch and walking to where Dwight was taking off his shoes. "I didn't lose the farm!" Dwight excitedly said. "Dwight, that's awesome!" Jim said, lifting Dwight up into a hug and kissing him. "So their fine with you and me?" Jim asked. "They are" Dwight told him with a small smile, pressing his lips into Jim's. 

"I love you" Dwight told Jim as he made them dinner. "I love you too" Jim said with a grin, making his way over to Dwight. Jim rested his chin on Dwight's shoulder and wrapped his arms around Dwight's middle. He would press kisses onto Dwight's shoulder as he stirred the food, but besides that he just stood there content with Dwight. 

"You know I would've never dated Cathy?" Jim randomly said as they sat down to eat. Dwight raised his brows, "Jim she's pretty and perfect for child bearing how do you not like her?" Dwight asked exasperated. "She's pretty, she's great really, but not my type" Jim said with a smile. Dwight rolled his eyes, "you're crazy Halpert" Dwight said with a smile. "Crazy for you" Jim replied. Dwight threw his dinner roll at Jim's head. "You're such a loser Jim" Dwight said with a laugh. After a while Dwight looked up at Jim and rolled his eyes, "I'm crazy for you too" he mumbled. Jim smiled in victory, "I love you Dwight." "I love you too Jim Dwight replied.


End file.
